patternless area

Daddy blogger

2010-08-08T10:15:00.000-07:00

Many people (OK, one person) have asked me if I would become a daddy blogger. I’ve been hesitant up until now. I didn’t want to include too much personal subject matter in the driftless area or patternless area. And it’s been hard to articulate all that’s happened in the past fourth months.

Besides, I didn’t want the Bjorn company to ply me with gifts and favors just so I would endorse their carrying devices. (Dear Bjorn people: I prefer the Original Classic model for its strong back support and sturdy buckles.)

I thought one blog approach might be to document some of the things I’ve learned since becoming a parent. I preface this by saying that this is what my experience has been like and I have no idea if it’s typical. The first thing you learn in going through this is that every experience is different—from pregnancy to labor to birth to baby and beyond. The minute you learn you might be a parent, you must check your expectations and judgments at the door. So here we go.

Probably the first thing I learned was how to be tired. And even that I haven’t fully learned yet. Thankfully, I had few duties outside of daddying in the early phases, so an upside-down sleep schedule was mostly OK. It’s incredible how a newborn engulfs your life—every minute of the day really. But still, on most occasions, her cries led me to spring up in even the most tired times. This takes on a new dimension when a 9-to-5 job is in the picture. The key is taking every opportunity to ingest sugar, caffeine and banned stimulants (the latter is a joke).

Putting aside your desires is something I’ve struggled with. At times, it’s easy—if there’s an emergency diaper change or spit up for example. But when the house is a mess, I’m just home from work and hungry and thirsty, it can be challenging to set everything aside and simply hold baby. This leads to becoming an expert at daydreaming, or a form of meditation, because there’s nothing else to do.

This also leads to a skill I’ve learned lately: one-handed cooking. I don’t think this is doctor recommended. But I can fix pasta, salads and grilled meats with the best of them. All while keeping the girl well away from flames, ovens and propane.

One of the things that concerned me pre-baby was taking care of basic life skills. I perceived bathing, diapering, dressing and feeding as really complicated. I mastered diapering and dressing at the hospital. Bathing and feeding were soon to follow.

One other surprising skill of late is not making eye contact. For weeks, we did all we could to get the baby’s attention, her focused gaze being a delightful achievement. As we try to sleep-train her, or get her to calm down in the car, it’s best to stare straight ahead woodenly. Last night, I actually ducked under her crib after putting her down, for fear of eye contact that could lead to further crying.

You also learn that all this craziness is rewarded with great joys. And in many ways, it's all going by way too fast.

See ya

2010-07-09T05:03:00.000-07:00

I don't have much to say about last night's freak show, but here are three links that pretty much sum up my feelings. What I find interesting was how quiet my normally boisterous Facebook friends were last night. There are lots o friends in Cleveland, and no one even felt like posting anything about this mess.

We've experienced a lot of competitive heartbreak in Cleveland, but this is much more like when the Browns moved in '95 than any other disappointments. LeBron didn't even get us as close to the title as the '86 Browns, '87 Browns or '97 Indians. And he basically quit in his last series with the Cavs.

http://www.cleveland.com/livingston/index.ssf/2010/07/whatever_his_voiced_reasons_it.html

http://nymag.com/daily/sports/2010/07/lebron_react_never_has_being_a.html?imw=Y&f=most-viewed-24h10

http://www.cbssports.com/nba/story/13618008/lebron-comes-out-looking-like-coward-not-king?tag=coverlist_footer;coverlist_photo_content

Recalling Mars

2010-05-26T20:59:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I'm having a bad day, and then I think about this video. "I'm climbing ze mountains of Maaaaaars!"

Seeding doubt

2010-03-27T09:11:00.000-07:00

This has been a great NCAA men's basketball tournament. I'm a longtime fan of upsets and underdogs, and there has been no shortage of those. In a strange twist, I'm actually looking forward to No. 1-seeded Kentucky meeting No. 2-seeded West Virginia today--it restores some order to the world. No doubt, though, I'm pleased that either No. 5 seed Michigan State or No. 6 seed Tennessee will go to the Final Four. And that Butler is playing for a Final Four berth today.

Still, you really must suspend belief to enjoy big-time college sports. These are not student-athletes vying for regional championships today. They are (mostly) minor-league basketball players who take a few classes on a college campus. It's a tired complaint, but it keeps coming up because the charm of the sport is so tied to the campus life that so many viewers and supporters remember. It's probably why we root for the upsets--the little schools are a bit more likely to have actual college students on the team.

Aspects of the book, "The Blind Side," recently made into the famous movie, seem to confirm the pseudo-student concept. In the book, the college football recruit's grades are propped up just before enrolling in college. With the help of a tutor, he aces several summer correspondence courses and tops the minimum grade point for college.

Let's face it: many big-time men's basketball coaches are maniacs. Basketball seems to breed these coaches more than other sports. Because the players come and go in a few years, and coaches stay, they become cult leaders. They can get away with anything, and their behavior reflects it. Several of these figures will be on display this weekend. It will be great entertainment, but it's best not to think too hard about it.

Fourth quarter

2010-02-07T18:01:00.000-08:00

8:01 -- The Saints appear to have held on a big third down. But the Colts appear to be going for it.

8:02 -- And they get it on a pass to Reggie Wayne.

8:04 -- Former Ohio State star Malcolm Jenkins makes a tackle. I forgot he was even on the Saints.

8:05 -- Matt Stover, the ageless one, misses wide left on a 51-yard field goal try.

8:12 -- Saints driving again. This is looking pretty good for them. The clock is ticking fast.

8:13 -- Touchdown! Jeremy Shockey. Probably the most notable football accomplishment in his off-the-field focused career.

8:15 -- Saints fail on two-point conversion, though the replay shows Lance Moore came darn close to making the catch.

8:18 -- This is such a weird play, and the Saints are challenging it. I'm going to guess the Saints won't get the call.

8:19 -- Oh my, the Saints get the two points! They had so many calls go in their favor in the NFC Championship Game. Maybe they're charmed this year.

8:29 -- A big third down and Peyton Manning throws an interception! Tracy Porter returns it for a touchdown. The Saints are going to pull off the upset!

8:32 -- CBS has done a nice job of sticking with shots of the game when they could have shown us Kim Kardashian all night. We've hardly seen the French Quarter, the Manning family or sappy player profiles.

8:41 -- The Colts are scrambling, but I still don't see how they can tie this up.

8:42 -- Is there a more tired tradition than the Gatorade bath? Waiting for the inevitable...

8:43 -- Manning incomplete on fourth and goal (Reggie Wayne dropped it). The Saints have clinched it.

8:46 -- And the Saints have done it. Coach Skywalker is on the shoulders of his team. French Quarter is excited. I have to think Brees will win the MVP. The crows are roosting. Good night now!

Third quarter

2010-02-07T16:55:00.000-08:00

7:22 -- Onside kick! One of the gutsiest calls in history!

7:23 -- Saints ball!

7:26 -- At the half, the analysts said the Saints should take to the air. They're doing that now, but I hope they still keep the running game going. It's the more sustainable approach.

7:27 -- Pierre Thomas! A beautiful catch and weaves his way into the end zone. Saints lead.

7:34 -- Seeking totals from the great storm of 2010? Here is a nice compilation from The Weather Channel.

7:34 -- I stand corrected regarding Phil Simms. He's been pretty good so far.

7:37 -- The Colts answer with a touchdown by Joseph Addai. Maybe we will see more offense in the second half.

7:38 -- The second half of the Super Bowl is actually about football. The first half is all about the commercials and the hype. Now we're down to football.

7:40 -- Pawnbroker Scott Lee Cohen, the Democratic nominee for lieutenant governor in Illinois, has finally quit the race. Another ugly chapter in Illinois politics.

7:46 -- I like the Steve Tasker-Solomon Wilcots sideline reporting duo. CBS has mostly done away with NFL sideline reporters; it's refreshing to hear from two people who actually provide salient information.

7:50 -- Garrett Hartley makes a 47-yard field goal for the Saints. They trail by one.

7:52 -- Colts kicker Matt Stover (20 seasons) is the longest-tenured player in the game. Mark Brunell, Saints quarterback, is next with 17 seasons.

Second quarter

2010-02-07T16:09:00.000-08:00

6:09 -- How shocking is this: Colts coach Jim Caldwell's record at Wake Forest was 26-63. If the first quarter is any indication, he's on his way to a Lombardi Trophy.

6:11 -- Yum, chicken cacciatore over cornmeal mush.

6:14 -- Here come the Saints!

6:15 -- Saints running back Pierre Thomas is from the Chicago area and played at Illinois.

6:17 -- I guess Dwight Freeney is healthy enough. The injured Colts defensive end just registered the first sack of the game.

6:22 -- What's with the themed commercials? First, elderly people getting tackled. And now consecutive commercials with pants-less people.

6:24 -- Is it "new or-lins" or "new or-lee-ins?" Phil Simms favors the latter.

6:32 -- I'll take the Saints' receivers over the Colts' receivers.

6:35 -- Big third and goal here. And it goes down to the two-minute warning.

6:37 -- Late second quarter diversion--check out the mascots for the Vancouver Winter Games: http://www.vancouver2010.com/mascot/en/meet.php.

6:39 -- The Saints' Mike Bell slips and it appears the Colts have held. Unless Coach Skywalker goes for it...

6:42 -- And they are going for it! Gary Brackett stuffs Pierre Thomas. This could be a turning point, but you have to give the Saints credit for going for it.

6:50 -- The Saints get the ball back and put up a field goal. Not too bad of an outcome after the fourth-down failure.

First quarter

2010-02-07T15:29:00.000-08:00

5:32 -- I really have nothing against the Colts. Maybe a little dislike because they moved from Baltimore and started the events that led to the Browns moving.

5:34 -- If you were really immature, you'd think that Jermon Bushrod was a funny name. But you'd have to be really immature to think that, maybe if you were Beavis and Butthead. It is kind of funny, though.

5:38 -- The Saints' Darren Sharper must be the only William & Mary alum in this game. He also may be a Hall of Fame safety.

5:42 -- RIP to the deceased Golden Girls--Beatrice Arthur and Estelle Getty.

5:43 -- That Tim Tebow ad wasn't as painful as I was expecting. He may be the most overtly conservative big-name athlete ever, though.

5:47 -- Super Bowl Shuffle ad. Yikes.

5:51 -- A delayed note on Colts kicker Matt Stover. He played for the Browns--not the current Browns but the real pre-1995 Browns.

5:59 -- A 26-yard run on third down by Joseph Addai. If this keeps happening it could be a long day for the Saints.

6:01 -- Touchdown for Pierre Garcon of the Colts. Garcon went to Division III football powerhouse Mount Union College in Alliance, Ohio. It'll also be mentioned on the telecast that his family is from Haiti. More random though is that he went to high school in Florida before attending college in Vermont and then transferring to Mount.

6:05 -- Ugh, Danica Patrick commercial. I'm skeptical of her endorsement choices.

Pregame hype

2010-02-07T15:11:00.000-08:00

5 p.m. -- I really hoped to avoid a case of "the Sundays" today--you know that sad feeling that the weekend is over and the realization that it's time to prepare for Monday. So I made sure to clear the decks for the Super Bowl. I've already done the ironing, laundry and cooked dinner so all I have to do now is watch this game.

5:05 -- I'm going to have a field day with Phil Simms calling this one. You could play a drinking game with his statements of the obvious. I just did a shot.

5:10 -- Is there any doubt that everyone outside of Indianapolis is pulling for the Saints today? Already, you can hear the Joe Robbie Stadium crowd cheering for them and booing the Colts.

5:15 -- What is with this Feb. 7 date for the Super Bowl? We already had a November World Series. Sports seasons are getting longer and longer. Next week is the NBA All-Star Game and the week after that is the Daytona 500. Fans just don't get a breather anymore.

5:21 -- Our american crow roost just took off for some reason.

5:22 -- Saints coach Sean Payton looks like a slightly aged Luke Skywalker.

5:23 -- What if Carrie Underwood "fixed" the anthem and bet it would last longer than 1 minute, 30 seconds or whatever. Couldn't she become really rich?

5:26 -- Three crows are back.

5:26 -- I know that it's not Joe Robbie Stadium but "Sunlife" Stadium or something. Silly.

5:27 -- How appropriate that Saints great Rickey Jackson is entering the Hall of Fame and is being introduced right now.

Good vote

2009-12-12T18:06:00.000-08:00

And I stand corrected. But I can't believe Case Keenum wasn't in the top eight! Er, maybe I can.

Toby's lament

2009-12-12T07:22:00.000-08:00

Heisman Trophy voters will make the cowardly choice today and give Colt McCoy of Texas this year's award. Last year, this space shared the view that BCS outsiders have no shot at the Heisman. This year, the mold has been broken a bit, with five finalists and one a defensive player (a defensive lineman from Nebraska). But it's likely that in a Gino Torretta-like choice, voters will mechanically hand the Heisman to McCoy--the most well-known player on one of the two big-name unbeaten teams (Alabama is the other).

What has McCoy done to distinguish himself? Very little except that he was on most writers' preseason lists of candidates. They have the incentive of showing they were right back in August. The predictions, though, are silly. Even in September, papers print a "Heisman Watch," that is all based on projections. So someone like Toby Gerhart, the Stanford running back who came out of nowhere, really doesn't have a shot. And doubly so since he's playing on the West Coast.

McCoy's numbers don't stack up with Gerhart or Case Keenum of Houston. Further, he nearly choked in the travesty known as the Big 12 Championship, with a tepid victory over Nebraska. (The Big 12 stunk this year, by the way.)

Case Keenum 43 TD 9 INT 5,449 Yards

Toby Gerhart 26 TD 1,736 Yards

Colt McCoy 27 TD 12 INT 3,512 Yards

It's not even close. Sadly, Keenum wasn't even invited to New York for today, yielding to higher profile schools and individuals like Tim "Don't call me Jason White" Tebow. Gerhart had the best season, astonishing numbers against a solid Pac 10. The only hope is that someone like Mark Ingram, the Bama back who ran over Florida in the other travesty known as the SEC Championship, will actually eke out the trophy over McCoy. And don't even get me started on the BCS Mess this year.

Sewing machinations

2009-10-03T08:24:00.000-07:00

This season of "Project Runway" has been uneven at best. Michael Kors has been missing for long periods of time. We haven't seen Nina Garcia in weeks, and I'm still thrown off by her jump from Elle to Marie Claire. The judging has been dreadful: terrible outfits are rated brilliant; amazing outfits are dismissed as ugly.

The past two weeks have been the worst. First, Ra'mon was bounced in favor of the bland Louise. Then this week devolved even further. In his sewing room rounds, Tim Gunn mostly praised the work of the duo of Epperson and Christopher. Nothing signaled that they were in trouble, in fact you could tell Christopher was proud that Tim had complimented their work.

When it came time to judge, though, the duo's work was harshly criticized. Soon, Christopher found himself standing next to Louise as the final two. Unbelievable. Christopher survived at least.

The switch to Lifetime, unless I'm missing something, hasn't made a big difference. In fact, the additional half-hour models show is kind of interesting. And the designers may be the best the show has ever had. Let's hope someone truly deserving emerges as the winner.

Steppe team

2009-07-12T10:44:00.000-07:00

The first week of the Tour has been as odd as one might expect given that Lance Armstrong is back and riding for a team of renegades sponsored by a place mostly known for its proximity to the steppe. When Armstrong was just a great story, in the early 2000s, and people like Rick Reilly weren't covering the Tour, there was a delight in following the race quietly on summer mornings. Now, like when your favorite local band goes big time, the Tour is splashed everywhere because of Armstrong's fame. And sadly, the doping-riddled Tours of the past three years are overlooked.

Armstrong, whose brushes with doping strain the credulity of his proclaimed innocence, now rides for the Cobra Kai-like Team Astana, which is sponsored by a state-run company in Borat-land. Alberto Contador, Bobby to Lance Armstrong's Johnny, also has had brushes with doping allegations. As has Andreas Kloeden, the big German who is probably third-best on the team.

Johnny and Bobby went at each other pretty hard this week, which was an unusually eventful first week of the Tour. Armstrong broke away on a relatively flat stage, gained a lot of time on Contador and nearly wound up in the yellow jersey. Contador, the pre-race favorite, wasn't pleased afterward. Then Contador went rogue the other day on a mountain stage and surged past Armstrong, leaving the Texan fuming. It's hard to know what really is going on within the team when Johan Bruyneel, Armstrong's old buddy from the Postal Service team, is director. It should make for good theater the rest of the way. Let's hope another doping scandal doesn't derail things.

Sprocket dance

2009-07-04T08:30:00.000-07:00

Seeing Lance Armstrong in a Team Astana uniform is like seeing Daniel LaRusso joining the Cobra Kai. Team Astana, owned by government-run entities in Borat's homeland of Kazakhstan, was booted from the 2007 Tour for doping . In the circus-like world of cycling, Lance Armstrong joining a team once laden with dopers hardly merits as news. Astana now includes a Star Wars cantina-like cast of characters--Alberto Contador, the young superstar, Andreas Kloeden, the Austrian who used to wear white-rimmed shades while riding, and Levi Leipheimer, the bald American with a funny name. Though Astana can hardly pay its riders the squad is considered the favorite in the Tour, which started today in Monaco. Adding to the madness is that doper Alexandre Vinokourov is hoping to return to Astana (the team, not the capital) in time for this year's Vuelta a Espana.

I've decided to root for Christian Vande Velde, another American rider with a European name, who gets written up in Chicago papers a lot because he's from Lemont, Ill. Vande Velde's team, Garmin-Slipstream, has stringent doping controls and was formed as a response to the scandals of the past couple years. I also will enjoy the commentary on Versus by Phil Liggett and Paul Sherwen. In these crazy cycling times, they're about the only two people we can count on.

Funky songs

2009-06-23T18:26:00.001-07:00

One of the things I like about the Beastie Boys is the names of their songs. Here is the track listing for the upcoming "Hot Sauce Committee, Part I," due in September.

1. Tadlock's Glasses 2. B-Boys In The Cut 3. Make Some Noise 4. Nonstop Disco Powerpack 5. OK 6. Too Many Rappers (featuring NAS) 7. Say It 8. The Bill Harper Collection 9. Don't Play No Game That I Can't Win (featuring Santigold) 10. Long Burn The Fire 11. Bundt Cake 12. Funky Donkey 13. Lee Majors Come Again 14. Multilateral Nuclear Disarmament 15. Pop Your Balloon 16. Crazy Ass Shit 17. Here's A Little Something For Ya

I love any band with a song called "Bundt Cake." And I wonder if "Funky Donkey" is a sequel to "Funky Boss." As an aside, young donkeys are perhaps my favorite baby animal.

Charter member

2009-06-10T18:04:00.001-07:00

A few weeks back I posted an ode to the re-discovery of an old musical favorite. I have a variation on the same theme to report today: the beauty of discovering a great band live and in-person.

More than a week ago, I had a chance to see Nine Inch Nails at Charter One Pavilion. It was a chilly evening, but really rather perfect for a spring concert (more on the venue later). I heard an usher say something about "Tom Morello of Rage Against the Machine" and didn't think much of it. The opener for NIN came on stage (Jane's Addiction had opened some shows on this tour but not this one) and I didn't really pay attention. Then the distinctive sound of a funk-metal guitar reached my ears. It was none other than Chicago native Tom Morello. The name of the band was Street Sweeper Social Club, and they had a sound that harkened back to the late 1990s heyday of rap-rock. Morello apparently has taken the project on in addition to his work as The Nightwatchman and with Rage. The vocalist is Boots Riley of Bay Area rhyme collective The Coup and drummer is Stanton Moore of Galactic. Even better, a portion of the band's proceeds fight hunger and homelessness! Check out a clip here; I highly recommend "100 Little Curses."

Not to be overlooked was the fact that this is (allegedly) Nails' last tour. To Clevelander Trent Reznor's credit, he and the group still bring it strong. Their stage show and sound system are top-notch. This show, in contrast to last summer's Lollapalooza appearance, included a long, meandering midsection with a number of moody, quiet numbers. Still, Reznor ripped through classics like "Heresy" and "Head Like a Hole," which closed the show.

Charter One Pavilion is quite the venue. I was skeptical of it at first, but there aren't many outdoor music locations in a big city like this--right next to a beach and within view of downtown. Boaters actually anchor just off-shore and listen to the shows echo across the water.

Goodbye Cleveland

2009-05-31T21:05:00.000-07:00

Orlando unceremoniously bounced Cleveland from the playoffs last night. I'll be having Mickael Pietrus 3-pointer nightmares all summer; did he miss a shot in this series? The only thing more harrowing is that Dwight Howard can now rule the East for the next 10 years and may have surpassed LeBron as the dominant player in the game. I'll be rooting for Orlando in the Finals, though.

Official adventures

2009-05-28T21:12:00.000-07:00

Well, that was a close call. The Cavs somehow staved off elimination tonight. The death march will continue Saturday evening in Disney World.

I'm not the only one who thinks the officiating is totally wacko. Bill Simmons, ESPN's Sports Guy, agrees.

Anvil time

2009-05-26T21:10:00.000-07:00

If the last Cavs' loss was crushing, tonight's is like it's raining anvils. Or Orlando Magic 3-pointers as it were. Sure, Orlando has been unconscious from 3-land all series. It's hard to believe this could keep up, but it may not matter at this point--Cleveland appears to be done. The series has shown that Coach of the Year Mike Brown has some growing up to do. As does LeBron James. Jordan, Magic and Bird wouldn't miss free throws and make careless turnovers down the stretch. And Brown completely got away from the ball-movement game plan in the latter stages of the game tonight. It will take a miracle for Cleveland to win now, and nothing indicates one is coming. The only miracle so far is that Cleveland even won one game.

Feeling Cavalier

2009-05-25T10:45:00.001-07:00

Last night was a crushing defeat for the Cleveland Cavaliers, and it's time to reflect on the series to date. This series is beginning to feel a lot like the 2004 Pistons-Lakers matchup in the NBA Finals and the 2007 Mavericks-Warriors first-round matchup. The Magic is playing the role of the Pistons and Warriors: feisty teams that have taken the momentum from the more talented favorites. In 2004, the balanced and scrappy Pistons trounced the much-favored Lakers who had a star-laden roster with the likes of Kobe Bryant, Shaquille O'Neal, Gary Payton and Karl Malone. In 2007, the top-seeded Mavs, the best team in the league in the regular year, faced an upstart Warriors club that played a frenetic style with a bunch of half insane players.

I realized this last night when Mickael Pietrus made a number of big plays on both sides of the ball. Why Pietrus? He was a key player on the 2007 Warriors. The Magic remind a lot of those Pistons and Warriors: balanced scoring, decent defense and nothing to lose. They keep coming at you in waves, with similar players and matchup nightmares in Rashard Lewis, Hedo Turkoglu and Pietrus. All 6-9 or so and 3-point bombers.

The Magic have been laughing and smiling a lot, even in tense moments. The Cavs, court jesters when winning, look completely dejected. The Cavs won 66 games in the regular season and have home court advantage throughout the playoffs. And so they've played much tighter than Orlando, which came into Quicken Loans Arena with fearlessness for Games 1 and 2. Save for one miracle shot by LeBron James, the Magic would lead 3-0 right now. Winning 66 games takes a lot out of a team--especially one that has never done it before. Maybe fatigue is part of this, too.

Some are suggesting not to panic. For these grave-whistlers, everything's fine and Cleveland has Orlando right where it wants 'em. But these sanguine folks likely are in for a shock in the next few days. It's hard to picture a scenario in which the Cavs turn this around. I'll be pulling for them hard tomorrow night in Game 4, though.

P.S. The officiating in this series has been terrible. NBA refereeing has become a perverse, ass-backwards experience. These people actually relish making bad calls now. It seems to have become exacerbated in the playoffs. I've never seen so many obvious out-of-bounds deflections called the wrong way. And clean blocked shots called fouls. It's becoming routine.

Magic coach Stan Van Gundy raised a good point yesterday. Every time James dribbles it results in a score or a foul. I know James is great, and I'm rooting for him, but it is bizarre that this could be the case. Then again, last night, even the refs allowed the Magic to get two clean blocks on No. 23.

Little solace

2009-05-21T21:05:00.000-07:00

I've been waiting a long time to post something about this. Browns receiver Donte Stallworth killed a pedestrian while allegedly driving drunk a couple months back. This is a sad, appalling story. But hopefully the NFL is taking this seriously, at least according to this article that just appeared on Yahoo. One of the biggest travesties of all time involves Rams defensive lineman Leonard Little, who was drunk 10 years ago when he killed another driver in a car accident. The NFL treated the incident with a shrug--Little served an eight-game suspension. He's since enjoyed a long career, the horrific accident increasingly becoming a footnote. Sure, he shouldn't be punished forever. But society shouldn't forget about it either.

Cheese seas

2009-04-23T17:01:00.000-07:00

Sometimes dusting off an old album is the perfect elixir for a musical malaise. I never really listened to Primus' 1999 release, "Antipop," until the past few days though it's been sitting in my CD collection. I thought of Primus a lot during our trip to California. The Bay Area trio often references NoCal locales in their songs--places like San Pablo Bay, El Sobrante and Coddingtown. I realize now that frontman Les Claypool's Rancho Relaxo is in Wine Country. Especially when we drove past Dee's Diner in Sebastopol, Calif., during our trip. Les has a solo song that is a tribute to the diner.

I rediscovered "Antipop" when I was reading Primus' Wikipedia entry. The piece suggested that the album was well-received by longtime Primus fans. That surprised me since Primus' hey-day was in the early 1990s. Purists prefer the stripped down weirdness of 1990's "Frizzle Fry" whereas latecomers prefer the stained-out oddities of 1993's "Pork Soda." I love it all, even the mid-1990s stuff.

Despite its name, "Antipop" always seemed the most "pop" of Primus' albums. Several stars guest on songs and several even guest-produce. The list ranges from Tom Morello to James Hetfield to Fred Durst.

In giving it another listen, I am blown away.

Maybe it's the new affection for NoCal, I don't know, but what an album. It's heavier than the records they made in the mid-1990s (most of which were filled with trippy ditties, upright bass and fuzzed-out drums--fuzzed-out drums, only Primus could achieve that!). "Antipop" delivers a return to the sound of "Fry" and "Cheese"--lots of heavy riffs and even the use of small cymbals and other unusual additions to the drum kit. Primus even discovered a new sound--a distorted guitar that sort of sounds like someone waving a piece of sheet metal.

Claypool announces his return to rocking with a yell at the beginning of the opening song, "Electric Uncle Sam." The fifth track, "The Antipop," opens with a Pink Floyd/Rush freakout and climaxes with a wall of metal that would make Metallica blush. Same with "Eclectic Electric," which actually includes Hetfield (of Metallica) on the ax. Strangely, "Lacquer Head," the first single released off the album (the video was banned by MTV despite it's anti-sniffing message) is not one of my faves. Anyway, Primus still "sucked" as they will be the first to tell you, and they were still discordant (as my college dorm-mates used to say) in 1999.

Airport alienation

2009-03-26T18:17:00.000-07:00

Prague's Franz Kafka International Named World's Most Alienating Airport

Wire walk

2009-03-08T09:15:00.000-07:00

If you haven't seen "Man on Wire," rent it. Now. It's a movie anyone can enjoy.

"Man on Wire," which won the best documentary Oscar, is about Philippe Petit, a Frenchman who tightrope-walked between the World Trade Center towers in 1974. What's as amazing as the walk itself, is the level of planning that went into the stunt. Even standing outside, on top of a 1,300-foot-tall building and shooting an arrow across to the other one is absurd.

Light show

2009-02-15T08:04:00.000-08:00

It's such a great feeling to happen across a band that blows you away. Inspired by the Sabaijai blog, here is a video by Battles. I heard about this band because the drummer used to be in Helmet, one of my favorites of alltime. I especially like the 2:50 mark or so when the guitar kicks in and the lights come on.

Economy pageant

2009-02-14T05:18:00.000-08:00

When I was growing up, only a handful of young women participated in the Miss SNPJ Pageant. We would visit the SNPJ Recreation Center near Enon Valley, Pa., and gawk at the old photos of Miss SNPJs past. It seemed like dozens of teens signed up for the pageant back in the 1960s and 1970s. By the early 1990s, there were only about four or five contestants per year.

This week, I opened my issue of the newsletter Prosveta to discover nearly a dozen contestants signed up for this year's pageant. I have a theory that perhaps the surge in interest is due to the economy. Here's why: several Miss SNPJ contestants will receive generous scholarships for college.

And perhaps this was the case back in the 1960s and 1970s, too. The success of the market in the 1980s and 1990s may have kept participation low. What's more shocking is that membership in fraternal insurance societies like SNPJ (which stands for Slovene National Benefit Society, in Slovenian) is generally down. Yet the pageant is soaring.

I'm not an economist, nor do I play one on the radio, but I thought I'd share one of the odd theories I come up with from time to time.

Precious metal

2009-01-28T21:00:00.000-08:00

Metallica ripped through its library of hits and a few new cuts in a two-hour performance at Allstate Arena last night. The California foursome took the stage at about 9:15 for the second of two shows in suburban Chicago. Despite the dysfunction evident in the brilliant documentary "Some Kind of Monster," the band has aged pretty well. They took the stage all smiles and enjoyed themselves right through the whole set. Their energy is unbelievable for a bunch in their mid-40s.

The stage show was impressive--massive coffins hanging from the ceiling, black beach balls bouncing around, lasers and pyrotechnics. The evening culminated with the band playing one of its old face-melters with the house lights on--the bloodshot-eyed crowd in full display. As noted by the Tribune's Greg Kot, the band has actually allowed its bassist to be heard--former Suicidal Tendencies bassist Robert Trujillo's low-rider approach rumbled through the arena loud and clear all night. The show was performed in the round--an egalitarian approach for sure.

I could grouse about the bizarre shuttle bus system at the arena (crowded with drunk metal-heads at midnight), but I am accentuating the positive this evening.

Cardinal crest

2009-01-28T20:51:00.001-08:00

A couple notes on the Super Bowl...first, a much better name for the Arizona Cardinals would be the Arizona Pyrrhuloxia. The cardinal-like birds reside in scrubby areas of southeastern Arizona.

Second, a fun item from the New York Times. Several players share their "Welcome to the NFL" moments. I like Bryan Robinson's story the best.

Lifting confusion

2009-01-22T17:40:00.000-08:00

I'm going to get my ass kicked at the gym one of these days.

Loyal readers know that I previously worked out at a small Park District gym. In a final attempt to rehabilitate my knee, I got a membership to a "real" gym recently. I figured the ease of access, space and amenities would make going to the gym easier. I just couldn't bring myself to go to that cramped park gym any more with rickety treadmills that were mostly out of service.

The etiquette of the big gym is overwhelming at the moment. Strangely, the constricted space and simple machinery of the park gym made everything easier. It was clear who was doing what; the protocol went unsaid.

My first trip to the new gym I mistakenly stepped in to use a piece of equipment only to realize that someone else had been using it. The person using it was wearing a hood and weightlifting gloves. Rather than specifically note that I was cutting in line, he grunted something that drew my attention--only after I had replaced some weights. I immediately apologized but he signaled that I should continue.

I vowed to myself that I'd be more diligent in the etiquette department.

Workout machines these days are hard to figure out. I feel like Borat when he was in Miami Beach.

So I made another misstep on Monday.

I went up to a machine and looked around to make sure no one was using it. I've found that people at this gym have fiefdoms to themselves--at 5 p.m. Johnny goes to this one spot and works out EVERY DAY. Don't invade Johnny's space. So I looked around carefully and only saw one guy nearby, probably 10 feet away. I trusted that my piece of equipment was free and began to look for a 25-pound weight to add on. I grabbed what appeared to be an available weight and placed it on my machine. I noticed that the nearest guy was looking at me, and I looked up and briefly made eye contact. He looked away.

I sat on the bench and prepared to lift the weight and was interrupted by a small noise from a few feet away. The man was indicating to me some sort of displeasure. He gestured toward his machine. I had taken off one of the weights while he was in between sets and placed it on mine. The complicated machinery had confused me--what I thought was a stationery weight was actually the one he was using at the time. I apologized profusely and laughed about the confusion. He mostly ignored me.

I think what's most funny to me--other than that you should secure a 25-yard perimeter around every machine before lifting--is that both of these people were so damn passive-aggressive. They watched me remove their weights and never said anything until I made the gaffe. I don't get it.

Picture time

2009-01-09T18:17:00.001-08:00

I can't resist sharing this. I like the child on the floor the best.

Fabio's remorse

2009-01-07T19:55:00.000-08:00

I haven't paid much attention to "Top Chef" this season, but here goes with a somewhat-live blog:

8 p.m. -- Wow, I think this is the Gail Simmons wedding shower episode. And I just realized that I'm watching a rerun. Oh well, blog on.

8:02 -- Stefan inexplicably has a crush on Jamie. Yech.

8:03 -- This cast includes several well-trimmed beards.

8:05 -- Damn. I just realized I forgot Worcestershire sauce in the meatloaf I'm cooking.

8:06 -- Carla could pass for Scottie Pippen's sister.

8:09 -- Stefan and his Jamie love fall to Hosea in the Quickfire.

8:13 -- Ariane says that because she's married she understands the "Something borrowed..." saying. Memo to Ariane: I'm married and have never heard of it.

8:15 -- Gail's shower. Damn this is pressure.

8:15 -- I like the "Top Chef" Fabio more than the guy on the romance novels.

8:17 -- Carla's anecdote is funny because my wife and I have our own whistling call for locating each other in grocery stores.

8:21 -- Rice is so darn hard to make. I feel for Eugene.

8:32 -- Gail has a lot of friends.

8:33 -- I love it when Tom is stalking around the kitchen, inspecting dishes and scaring the cast.

8:36 -- The editor of Food and Wine has sort of a Julius Caesar haircut, I believe it's called. Kind of like Burt Reynolds in "Deliverance."

8:40 -- Fabio uses his Italian accent to win over the crowd only to fall on his face when it comes time to taste the dish.

8:52 -- My own meatloaf is good. I fear the judges would describe it as "old people food" which is what they said about the dish by Fabio & Co.

8:59 -- And another well-trimmed beard is eliminated.

Mountain best

2009-01-06T19:15:00.000-08:00

Dan Wetzel hits the nail on the head with this post on Yahoo! Sports about the University of Utah and how they are getting derailed by the BCS. Not unlike the patternless area post about Heisman hype. One thing I hadn't thought of: big networks promote the conferences that they have agreements with. So the ABC and Big Ten and CBS and SEC and ESPN and Big 12, etc. So who's going to promote the Mountain West Conference? No one.

Classic winter

2009-01-01T16:58:00.000-08:00

Today dawned with the sound of a helicopter hovering over the North Side as part of the coverage of the Winter Classic hockey game. The Detroit Red Wings defeated the Chicago Blackhawks 6-4 outdoors at Wrigley Field before a crowd of more than 40,000. This is the second straight year the NHL staged a game on New Year's Day outdoors (last year's was in Buffalo). While I wasn't able to get a ticket, it's a lot of fun to watch these games. The Winter Classic tradition may be pushing college football bowls out of the spotlight on Jan. 1--the bowls are now so spread out and diluted that the first day of the year is just another day with a bunch of bowls.

I think my favorite part of the telecast today was the presence of The Weather Channel's Jim Cantore. The broadcasters play up the impact of the elements a bit during these games (today it was a mild 30 degrees and overcast, though windy), but Cantore makes weather even more interesting. He was able to reference the "altocumulus" clouds while sitting on top of the centerfield scoreboard.

I heard a rumor that the NHL made snow to fill up the area around the rink but within the ballfield; I'm guessing this makes the Winter Classic more wintry. The truth is there's hardly any actual snow on the ground right now and we are in one of those typical Chicago phases of limited snow and cold temps.

Heisman hype

2008-12-13T11:05:00.000-08:00

Last year, Central Florida running back Kevin Smith rushed for 2,567 yards and fell just short of Barry Sanders' single-season NCAA rushing record of 2,628 yards. Yet Smith finished eighth in the balloting for the Heisman Trophy, which ultimately went to Tim Tebow of Florida. Two years before, Reggie Bush of Southern California captured the trophy by rushing for nearly 1,000 fewer yards than Smith.

Winning the Heisman Trophy correlates now with team success more than at any point during the past 25 years, according to a study by the patternless area. Just three of the past 27 Heisman finalists, 11 percent, are from schools that finished outside the top 15 in the final Bowl Championship Series (BCS) rankings. Between 1983 and 2000, 32 percent of finalists were "outsiders" from beyond the top 15 (using the AP poll between 1983 and 1997). The heyday of the Heisman outsider was from 1985 to 1990, when 42 percent of finalists came from less-successful teams or even from outside Division I-A.

Despite Smith's omission in 2007, the four-finalist Heisman field included one outsider: Darren McFadden of Arkansas. The only other outsiders since 2001 are Brady Quinn of Notre Dame (2004) and Larry Fitzgerald of Pittsburgh (2003). This year only three players have been deemed Heisman finalists--Tim Tebow of Florida, Sam Bradford of Oklahoma and Colt McCoy of Texas--and they are from the top three teams in the nation.

Heisman history is dotted with players who came from relatively obscure programs but made it to Manhattan's Downtown Athletic Club as finalists: Tim Couch of Kentucky in 1998, Randy Moss of Marshall in 1997, Troy Davis of Iowa State in 1996, Marshall Faulk of San Diego State in 1992 and 1993. Three outsiders have won the trophy in the past 25 years: Ricky Williams of Texas in 1998, Ty Detmer of Brigham Young in 1990 and Bo Jackson of Auburn in 1985. Two finalists weren't even playing for Division I-A schools when they were invited: Steve McNair of Alcorn State in 1994 and Gordon Lockbaum of Holy Cross in 1987. Obscure players like Shawn Moore of Virginia (1990), Anthony Thompson of Indiana (1989) and Paul Palmer of Temple (1986) made it to New York.

Even as the Internet and cable television have made it easier to follow college football, the pool of potential Heisman candidates has narrowed. Rarely do players come out of nowhere like Sanders did in 1988, or Faulk in 1992, and if they do, like Kevin Smith, they are mostly ignored. Why?

-The BCS has focused all attention on schools in the big six major conferences: the Atlantic Coast, Big 12, Big East, Big Ten, Pacific 10 and Southeastern. This year, Utah and Boise State have gone unbeaten and only Utah scraped into a BCS bowl. Boise State isn't even playing after Christmas, facing Texas Christian in something called the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl on Dec. 23. Back in 1984, Brigham Young, of the Western Athletic Conference, won the national title by beating Michigan in the Holiday Bowl. Nearly half the teams in the grouping formerly known as Division I-A aren't even competing for the national title now.

-The media like to reward themselves. Heisman prognostications arrive in mid-summer, and the forecasters don't like to admit they were wrong when someone emerges in October.

-As expansive as the TV coverage is, few people watch the Wednesday, Thursday and Friday night games that showcase lesser known conferences. Many sports fans are following baseball on those nights early in the football season.

-Widespread analysis and coverage derails the hopes of anomalies like B.J. Symons of Texas Tech, who threw for more than 5,000 yards in 2003. It's easier to dismiss players as "products of a system" rather than inherently talented. Analysts also seem more like to take this tack now, though I'm not sure why. Back in 1989, when Andre Ware won the Heisman at Houston, few decried his choice even though he was a product of the new-fangled Run and Shoot offense.

-The criteria for the Heisman Trophy have changed over time. Already murky at best, the definition of the "most outstanding player" has evolved to mean the best player on the best team. Back in the 1980s, stats seemed to matter more and team success not as much.

The Heisman already is inherently flawed since it 99 percent of the time awards players from three positions: quarterback, running back and wide receiver. In recent years, it's nearly all quarterbacks. This year, voters have a chance to combine the best of the '80s with the 2000s approach and pick Oklahoma's Bradford, whose jaw-dropping numbers combine with team success.

Other observations: Back in the late '80s and early '90s there were a lot more defensive players in the hunt for the Heisman. Names like Steve Emtman and Marvin Jones made the top 10 in voting. Charles Woodson of Michigan, of course, somehow won the Heisman as a defensive back in 1997.

-Lockbaum was a two-way player, a tailback and defensive back.

-A lot of winners were total washouts in the NFL: Jason White, Eric Crouch, Chris Weinke, Danny Wuerffel, Rashaan Salaam, Gino Torretta to name a few.

Bird day

2008-11-27T09:19:00.000-08:00

About two hours before this photo was taken, a peregrine falcon alighted on one of the gothic towers at St. Columbanus Church on Chicago's South Side.

Barry O

2008-11-13T16:49:00.001-08:00

There's no doubt I'm going through election withdrawal along with thousands of others. I still make feeble visits to andrewsullivan.com and fivethirtyeight.com, mostly out of habit. I've pretty much stopped visiting talkingpointsmemo.com and slate.com for now. I am still following Sarah Palin's every move however. Her campaign for 2012 is going so well, what with the coherent interviews and all.

Anyway, I have uploaded several photos to flickr. This is not our best work--we may need a camera upgrade (or at least knowledge of the nighttime settings)--but I think these capture a bit more of the event. I still can't get over the scene on Michigan Avenue that night, especially when I'm driving in that vicinity now. Pure magic.

Making history

2008-11-05T19:00:00.000-08:00

The Election Night Rally in Grant Park, of course, will be one of the most memorable nights of our lives. It still hasn't sunk in yet, though.

We rode our bikes down to the vicinity of the park, arriving at about 8:30. After a brief struggle, we found a chain link construction fence to latch up to near the intersection of Monroe and Wabash. There was a throng walking toward Grant Park, but the crowd mostly was subdued. It was mix of young and old, white and black. One thing I will always remember was a guy on a cellphone who loudly said "He won Ohio!" to anyone nearby. A round of cheers and applause went up. At this point, we already knew Obama had won Pennsylvania--a major development--but, as any regular fivethirtyeight.com reader will tell you, Ohio was far from certain (and of course the Buckeye State is meaningful to me). An Ohio win plus Pennsylvania virtually assured Obama of the presidency.

We kept making our way toward the park, passing through three security checkpoints. There was something a little surreal about it. The combination of the loudspeakers echoing across the park and off the row of buildings on Michigan Avenue, combined with a fairly quiet crowd, created an eerie feeling. Not to mention the unseasonable temperatures in the 60s. One doesn't often gather with this many people unless it is for a sporting event or concert, and fans of sports and music are quite boisterous.

We made our way to an area probably 300 yards from the stage. CNN was playing on a big video board, and whoops of delight went up whenever a state was called for Obama. At about five minutes to 10, CNN called Virginia for Obama, who by now had a huge lead. It sent the crowd into a frenzy. At 10, the polls closed on the West Coast and CNN declared Obama victorious. The crowd reached another level of jubilation, with people hugging and crying (the picture above is from just after the announcement). It was shocking to see the word "president" next to Obama's name and photo, as shocking as learning of any other major world-changing event. It's strange because we knew he would probably win last night. It just wasn't something I really allowed myself to imagine after the disappointments of the past eight years. And to think that this is the same guy I was standing in a South Side pantry with about two years ago.

The time between 10 and 11 was mostly spent listening to music and watching the video board. (One song I remember was "Signed, Sealed, Delivered.") CNN provided some analysis, and McCain delivered his concession speech. Many in the crowd graciously clapped for sections of McCain's speech. A few started singing "Hey Hey Goodbye." (And after all of the Republican hit jobs, smear tactics and dishonesty, who could blame them.)

After an invocation, pledge of allegiance and the national anthem, Obama took the stage with his family. He delivered a speech that was very serious in tone. A speech that didn't self-reference his remarkable achievement but rather focused on the steep challenges that we face. The inspiring oratory prompted more tears and cheers.

We could see the runway that jutted from the stage, Obama looking like a miniature person in the distance. After the speech, the Obama and Biden families appeared together and waved to the crowd. Most everyone in the audience stayed until after the stage was cleared.

We made our way to the exits and walked toward Michigan Avenue, which was awash in revelers. It was a very peaceful celebration with everyone lining the streets, chanting, cheering and taking pictures. By 1, we had ridden all the way back north. The entire evening was such a rare opportunity, and I'm thankful that we happened to be in the right place at the right time to be a part of it.

Organizing hope

2008-11-05T02:46:00.000-08:00

I'd like to note that one reason President-Elect Obama won--and captured traditionally red states--is because of his and his campaign's effectiveness at community organizing, the old job Republicans mocked at their convention.

Vote rocking

2008-11-03T17:33:00.001-08:00

To: Everyone in Swing States and Red States
From: Everyone in Blue States

Please vote tomorrow. And then tell a bunch of other people to vote.

Thanks.

Wry guy

2008-10-30T15:33:00.001-07:00

I know Jim Rome isn't for everyone, and it's hard to explain why I like him so much to anyone who hasn't regularly listened to his radio show, but I found this take on golfer John Daly especially funny (Daly's "friends" left him at a Hooters in a drunken stupor):

[[I don’t know what's worse, J.D. “hitting it” that hard, again. Or, his “crew” just abandoning him? What happened to the “boozer’s credo”: ‘no one gets left behind enemy lines. Everyone in, everyone out. Never leave your wingman. Ever! Either that, or this guy is ‘hashing our buzz’; he’s ‘killing us’. Everyone out the back door! Yeah. but what about J.D.? Who cares, he won’t even know we’re gone.”]]

Polling place

2008-10-28T18:11:00.001-07:00

And the fivethirtyeight.com coverage continues at a feverish pace!

Politically correct

2008-10-28T17:45:00.000-07:00

The 1994 movie "PCU" takes place at fictional Port Chester University, a place where fraternities have been banned and fun is basically outlawed. The main character nominally is a "pre-frosh" named Tom Lawrence, though really Jeremy Piven's Droz (rhymes with "Ross") is the main character. Droz is a seventh-year senior who is assigned the pre-frosh. He lives in a place called "The Pit" where a random cast of characters resides and generally has a good time. Two of Droz' cohorts are Gutter, a dimwitted big guy, and Mullaney, an easygoing sort who happened to be played by Alex Desert, frontman for the third-wave ska band Hepcat. The Pit residents are foiled by David Spade's preppy Rand McPherson and University President Garcia-Thompson, as played by Jessica Walter who went on to play Lucille Bluth in "Arrested Development." The university cracks down on all things fun, and, living up to its name, bans anything that might offend almost anyone. At one point, the school mascot becomes an endangered whooping crane. (In a cinematic ornithological gaffe, the crane that emerges on state in ceremony is actually a gray-crowned crane.)

What else did we learn from "PCU?"

-That George Clinton and Parliament-Funkadelic might actually show up at your party if you dream enough.

-That the Caine-Hackman Theory is true: there is a 100 percent statistical probability that at any given moment in time, a film starring either Michael Caine or Gene Hackman will be showing on television.

-That you should never go to a concert wearing a T-shirt of the band you are about to see (Droz' quote: "What's this? You're wearing the shirt of the band you're going to see? Don't be that guy."). (I directly violated this rule by wearing a vintage 1994 RATM T-shirt to Lollapalooza.)

This is all by way of saying that the Jon Favreau who writes Sen. Barack Obama's speeches is not the Jon Favreau who played Gutter in "PCU."

Silver lining

2008-10-28T04:35:00.001-07:00

The Chicago Tribune featured Nate Silver, creator of fivethirtyeight.com, the election polling site, in the paper yesterday. Silver, who resides in Chicago, formerly was known for his stat-geek work with Baseball Prospectus. He has Sen. Obama winning in a landslide.

Midwest best

2008-10-27T17:24:00.000-07:00

Geographical reasons for why Chicago might be the best place in the country to launch a presidential campaign.

Runway finale

2008-10-24T16:10:00.000-07:00

I missed the finale of "Project Runway" because of the presidential debate. I thought about watching both, but it was just too much. I am aware of who won this season. (If you don't want to know, stop reading here.)

In reviewing photos of the final collection, it's hard to question Leanne's victory. To me, it wasn't a very compelling season of "Runway." Maybe it's that the show has had two seasons this year already. Despite her pseudo-spacey demeanor, Leanne deserved to win over the weaker-than-usual field.

Sprawl space

2008-10-20T20:33:00.001-07:00

One of the silver linings of the foreclosure crisis is that it might slow the inexorable expansion of suburban development.

Senator impaling

2008-10-15T19:59:00.000-07:00

I gave up on the "Runway" finale tonight to focus on the debate. Here are some thoughts:

8:03 - The little desk and chairs look like the set of a debate parody rather than the set of an actual debate.

8:09 - Sen. Obama gets the first laugh by saying that Sen. McCain has been "watching ads of Sen. McCain's."

8:11 - Sen. McCain looks unhinged tonight.

8:13 - He wants to spread the wealth by cutting taxes to the rich. Huh?

8:18 - Ethanol: you can't start a new talking point this late in the election.

8:19 - I hope Adler Planetarium does get a new projector.

8:25 - Ooh, "The Say It to His Face" segment.

8:28 - Sen. McCain sometimes seems a decent person, but the smears against Sen. Obama indeed have been awful by him and Gov. Palin.

8:30 - Ooh, Sen. McCain says Sen. Obama attacked his healthcare plan. And then admits to being an Arizona Cardinals fan--shocking!

8:39 - I just think the Ayers meme is a loser for McCain.

8:40 - Yeah, Bob Schieffer. He serves up an Obama softball on "why is your running mate qualified to be president?" Sen. Obama executes a reverse windmill double-pump slam dunk in Sen. McCain's face.

8:42 - I'm shooting holes into everything Sen. McCain says about Gov. Palin. Take this one: "She's a reformer." Oh yeah, a reformer who uses her power to wrongly fire people. Who accepts pork barrel projects only to renounce them. Who was for the Bridge before she was against it. That's a reformer.

8:46 - Schieffer is ruling this debate with an iron fist.

8:49 - If all the Obama-Biden signs I saw in rural West Virginia and Virginia this weekend are an indicator, this will be a landslide in November.

9:00 - Sen. McCain uses the "my friend" device.

9:05 - Sen. McCain just called Sen. Obama "Senator Government" by mistake.

9:12 - Once and for all: 'present' votes are common in Illinois, one of the few states that offer this option.

9:24 - Um, Sarah Palin's child has Down Syndrome, not autism. Get it straight.

Reform school

2008-10-02T19:55:00.000-07:00

Gov. Palin tonight seemed to equate "Washington outsider" to a lack of knowledge about anything that's gone on in Washington, ever. She interchangeably used "outsider" status with simply not knowing much about the national news. In actuality, anyone who's picked up a newspaper or turned on a TV during the past couple centuries would know more than she did about what's taken place in Washington. Maybe it's just me, but inattention to national political issues is not the kind of reform I'm looking for.

Debate report

2008-09-27T07:21:00.000-07:00

Thoughts on last night's debate...

-McCain played the "old" card a lot, even starting with a reference to Eisenhower. He later blasted Obama's experience and referred to a bunch of things he did or observed 20 or 30 years ago. History and experience are important, but if you value history and experience this much how can you choose the least qualified running mate ever?

-McCain uses this rhetorical device of starting statements by saying "My friends." Lieberman does the same thing. No you are not my friend and I won't believe what you're telling me.

-Obama could have made a statement like "John, how can we believe you on this fact when you and your running mate have run a campaign full of lies?" I'm not sure why he didn't--maybe there are too many people who would feel sympathy for the old guy? There are just so many documented lies at this point. Obama did say "Not true, not true" to several of McCain's statements however.

-I agree with the pundits who said Obama held his own on foreign policy. I think John McCain and Sarah Palin not only want another Cold War with Russia, they actually want a real war this time around. I don't think Obama, though, could make this comment because of his initially soft posture toward the Georgia conflict--a posture that generally wasn't well received from what I understand. What else would it be though but war if NATO defended Georgia against Russia? And do you think Putin wouldn't fight back if we sent troops into Georgia?

Third down

2008-09-24T20:03:00.000-07:00

Tonight's episode of "Project Runway" was a shocker. I really don't have a good sense of who will win this season, but I do believe that THIRD PERSON should not have been eliminated tonight. THIRD PERSON designed a "rock-and-roll" outfit for Jerrell that really wasn't all that bad. Kenley designed a disgusting pair of "mom jeans" for Leanne that were supposed to be "hip-hop." Not only were the jeans an affront to hip-hop, they were an affront to all fashion. The inexplicable high-risers wouldn't be appropriate for any genre.

There were many other times earlier this season when I thought THIRD PERSON should have been eliminated but not tonight. So THIRD PERSON departs leaving us with four survivors. Really, this season feels like Stephen King's early novel "The Long Walk."

Fired up

2008-09-17T17:49:00.001-07:00

Young sighing

2008-09-11T20:25:00.000-07:00

Yahoo! Sports' Jeff Passan writes that this year's National League Cy Young race is a referendum on whether young Sabremetricians--those who swear by statistical analysis--will topple the Old Guard in the journalists' voting for the award. Passan states that victories have typically been the barometer by which Cy Young candidates are judged, earned-run averages and other stats be damned.

I take the position that victory totals, while an imperfect measure, still matter. There's something about playing behind a winning pitcher, an ace, a stud, that gets a team going. Winners keep teams in the game--guys like Jack Morris come to mind--and throw a lot of pitches while doing it. Workhorses matter.

In this year's NL race, it's come down to Brandon Webb of the Arizona Diamondbacks and Tim Lincecum of the San Francisco Giants. Lincecum sports a gaudy ERA and Webb a slightly better win total on a better team. In all fairness the award could go to either guy, though I think Lincecum has been more dominant.

In the AL, it's no contest. Cliff Lee should make it back-to-back Cy Youngs for the Cleveland Indians. Despite playing on a .500 team, he leads the league in wins (21-2) and ERA.

Vicious bicycle

2008-09-10T19:27:00.000-07:00

I'm not really sure what to make of Lance Armstrong's comeback. On one hand, I have a cynical view and don't believe it's all about cancer awareness. On the other, I missed watching him in the Tour. But I would find it strange if he does ride for Team Astana, which was booted from this year's Tour because team leader Alexandre Vinokourov was doping in 2007. It's also strange that Johan Bruyneel, Armstrong's longtime team director with the U.S. Postal Service and Discovery Channel, is leading the sketchy Astana team. Even more strange is how much the Team Astana Web site reminds me of the Sacha Baron Cohen character Borat (OK, maybe it's just the Kazakh flag).

I thought seven straight Tour wins was plenty for one career, especially one that managed to avoid ever testing positive despite all the "smoke" billowing around. But this will make next year's Tour a lot more interesting.

Big picture

2008-09-03T20:43:00.000-07:00

The Republican National Convention is part hilarious, part deeply disturbing. The first two full days have been filled with head-scratching comments, tepid applause and a lot of shots of the same five (only five?) 35-year-old women in the crowd.

-By far the most absurd moment of either convention took place on Tuesday. Ohio Rep. John Boehner organized the convention photo, asking that everyone stand still for one to two minutes. The compliant delegates stood statue still, including the expressionless Congressman and all of the dignitaries on stage. It was like an old-fashioned photograph where everyone had to stand motionless for a really long time. If I missed it and the Democrats did anything like this, please leave a comment.

-The music for this convention differs from the Democratic convention. So far, mostly music that sounds like the score from a made-for-TV movie. Then Journey came on. No one really danced to it, just half-heartedly waved their signs back and forth to it.

-A speaker called the Vice Presidential nominee "Sarah Pawlenty," combining the little-known governor's name with the name of one-time VP possibility Tim Pawlenty.

-There's an Abraham Lincoln lookalike in the crowd. You wonder if he got named a delegate just for his costume and beard.

-Finally, full disclosure, I caught a Sen. Obama flub on C-SPAN 2. Speaking in New Philadelphia, Ohio, he called the town "New Pennsylvania."

Conventional wisdom

2008-08-28T10:49:00.000-07:00

The first three days of the 45th National Convention of the Democratic Party have been wildly entertaining. Random observations as we prepare for the big rally tonight in the Broncos' stadium.

-I like the panel seated at the table on stage. They remind me of the Politburo watching a boxing match (veiled "Rocky IV" reference).

-The "Town Hall" hosted by the great Ohio Sen. Sherrod Brown was strange. TV commentators made it sound like no one in the arena was paying attention to it. In fact, I don't even think the audience had any questions when Sen. Brown asked at the end.

-When the Democrats air an elegy to Speaker Nancy Pelosi, I like to picture all the Republicans across the country becoming nauseous. Other moments that had Republicans reaching for their Leanne-approved barf bags: all of Sen. Clinton's speech, the Sen. Ted Kennedy tribute, President Clinton's speech and when all of the female House members took to the stage.

-The best of the convention takes place in the late afternoon/early evening. It's kind of CNBC's badminton to NBC's gymnastics--far more interesting without all the hype. (For a good story on the frustrating Olympics TV coverage, click here. Thanks to a patternless area correspondent for finding this.)

-CSPAN is by far the best network for watching the convention. No commentary, constant video feed. Yesterday, they kicked off their coverage by showing an assortment of delegates dancing to live music for about 8 minutes. I like the delegate in the donkey costume.

-I liked the camera that followed all of President Clinton's reactions during Sen. Clinton's speech on Tuesday. Sen. Biden is a close second on most entertaining reaction shots.

-DNC Chairman Howard Dean is the best. Even watching him read a motion yesterday was fun.

-Finally, how did celebrities Omarosa and Jennifer Garner get tickets? Egad.

Keith Institutionalized?

2008-08-28T10:35:00.001-07:00

Some have questioned my allegiance to Keith on this season's "Project Runway." I mostly was intrigued by his close similarity to bandanna-ed Suicidal Tendencies frontman Mike Muir as well as his Mormon upbringing. Keith's dismissal last night came as no surprise. The horrors of last week's tattered outfit and this week's disaster were too much to overcome. And his retort at Michael Kors' criticism last night sealed his demise. Just as Kors said, anyone who presents something to the public has to be prepared for criticism. Keith couldn't handle it and buckled under the pressure. So long, Keith.

Runway clearance

2008-08-21T13:30:00.001-07:00

I was shocked when Daniel was eliminated from "Project Runway" last night. He seemed destined to be the pompous type who lingers throughout the season, just to infuriate most of the audience. His outfit was actually better than Keith's, and that's tough for me to say because everyone knows I'm a Keith and Suicidal Tendencies fan.

And Leanne, who could be an extra from "Children of the Corn," used the word "barf" last night.

More hubbub

2008-08-17T09:28:00.001-07:00

The Chicago Tribune's Bob Verdi has the latest take on Brett Favre. He takes the position that Favre should have stayed retired and that the Packers made the right decision. I disagree with the latter portion of the position, but the piece is overall a solid critique:

Regularly scheduled programming on sports networks has been shelved, not only by Michael Phelps' quest for gold but by Favre's serial forays into arena addiction and self-absorption, both nourished by his acute appreciation of procrastination for dramatic effect.

And, as if we haven't had enough Favre, Verdi notes that he's gone from the smallest NFL market to its largest. Imagine the Favre hubbub to come.

Mythological Packer

2008-08-16T06:41:00.000-07:00

Sports Illustrated's Chris Ballard wrote a column about how the mythology of Brett Favre has been broken. A couple of my favorite quotes:

"Did he really believe that rumors and leaks to the media were the best way to go about returning?"

"And once Favre embraced the role of folk hero...he couldn't suddenly bail out. In Favre's case, fans expect his life to read like a compelling narrative."

Ballard also cites a Kelton Research poll that found 53 percent of Americans wishing Favre would stay retired. The numbers jumped to 59 percent in the Midwest. We don't like this wishy-washy retirement stuff.

Wither judo

2008-08-14T20:35:00.000-07:00

I don't have too much to say about last night's "Project Runway" other than Blayne should have been eliminated. I haven't seen koolats (sp?) in the board room, but that's just me.

I do have a lot to say about the Olympics. I'm not sure who decided that we all have to watch gymnastics, beach volleyball and swimming every night, but I'm blaming NBC for it. There are so many sports that are receiving zero coverage in primetime. I realize that TV does this every Olympiad, but I could really go for some badminton right now. Or even Muggle Quidditch.

Tan man

2008-08-06T19:55:00.000-07:00

What did we learn during this week's episode of "Project Runway?" That Blayne prefers to tan every other day. That Jennifer's elimination was overdue. That Daniel is too hip to create an Olympic outfit. That Corto and her family left Liberia when she was a child. That Apolo Ohno knows his fashion. And that many of the designers think dresses, Little Bo Peep bonnets and sweaters are appropriate for the opening ceremonies of the Olympics.

Favre ending

2008-08-05T17:19:00.000-07:00

Well, I said the patternless area would be about more than camping, birding, the weather and cycling. Now I have takes on the Brett Favre saga.

First, full disclosure, I am a fan of No. 4. I have followed his career since the Atlanta Falcons took him in the second round and since he made his NFL debut in a Packers victory over Cincinnati. But, even as I enjoyed his resurgence last year, I had already grown tired of his year-to-year wishy-washy retirement decisions. It was too much. It didn't help the team and drew way too much attention to him individually. Finally, when he retired this year on (mostly) a high note (NFC Championship Game appearance), I thought that it might be over. I decided if he ever came back, I would change my opinion of him. And then the reports came that he was reconsidering.

But the Packers managed to botch the whole situation so badly that I again have regained sympathy for the Kiln, Miss., native. How this team could not let him back is absurd. QB-to-be Aaron Rodgers was a No. 20-something pick four years ago. He is not Steve Young. The franchise would be more damaged by refusing Favre than by accepting him back. In fact, accepting him back would only enhance the team's long-term image and short-term gains (and I was at Lambeau two months ago--the place is a shrine to Favre). Instead, the venerable franchise will be sullied by its rejection of a legend.

Sadly, everyone will forget about this in a few years. Who remembers that 49ers greats Joe Montana, Ronnie Lott and Roger Craig ended their careers with other teams? Not many. But the marriage of Favre and Green Bay was so great that it is a shame to see it end this way.

Weekend hindsight

2008-08-05T16:59:00.000-07:00

We found these sunglasses on Hutchinson Field on Sunday. Hutchinson Field is the grassy area of Grant Park where the AT&T stage was erected for Lollapalooza. For me, these sunglasses represent a lot (insert your own caption here). The mayhem of Rage Against the Machine's show, perhaps. The insanity of a three-day summer festival with more than 225,000 people and eight stages of music.

It's easy to imagine how someone could have lost their glasses this weekend and subsequently have them trampled. Though I like to think that someone, agitated by Zack de la Rocha's anti-capitalist rants, threw down these glasses during Rage's set and did away with Prada and materialism forever. Probably not the case.

One final observation:

Before the Rage show, somewhere deep in the throng, we saw a guy drinking out of a Coppertone bottle. Initial reaction: disgust. Upon further consideration, I wonder if this was one of those branded containers you can buy to hold illicit materials--like the Coke can that is actually filled with beer or the bottle of shaving cream with the marijuana compartment. Later, after the show, we saw one mosh survivor pick up a half-empty bottle of water that was lying on the ground. He studied it for a moment before proceeding to gulp it down. So maybe the Coppertone guy really was chugging lotion-flavored liquids after all, who knows.

Cleveland nostalgia

2008-08-03T21:32:00.001-07:00

Trent Reznor got nostalgic Sunday night. "Seventeen summers ago Perry Farrell asked me to join Lollapalooza," said the Nine Inch Nails frontman. "We were just kids from Cleveland who didn't know anything."

Reznor did indeed spend quite a bit of time in Cleveland and grew up in Mercer, Pa., about 90 miles away. He also attended school for one year at Allegheny College.

Nine Inch Nails rocked the Bud Light stage at the north end of Grant Park, mixing old hits like "Head Like a Hole" with newer songs like "The Hand That Feeds." Their light show was phenomenal and they played a few songs behind a cage-like fence. One of the encore numbers was "Hurt," the song Johnny Cash once covered.

Other highlights from Day 3 of Lollapalooza:

-Today was steamier than yesterday but still mostly tolerable.

-Lollapalooza is no place for an agoraphobe. Admittedly, I was tired of the scene a bit today--one too many people bumping into me, a few too many port-a-poddies. Still, a lot of fun overall.

-Girl Talk was fun. It was basically a guy with a laptop (Gregg Gillis, a former biomedical engineer no less), but he almost trumped Gnarls Barkley with a dance party atmosphere at the Citi stage.

-Saul Williams was interesting, harder than expected.

-Gnarls Barkley was good, but I felt played a few too many of their darker songs from their more recent album.

-This was a tiring weekend, and I'm running out of steam now.

Multiple choice

2008-08-03T09:58:00.001-07:00

If there's any complaint I have about Lollapalooza it is the number of cruel choices we have been forced to make. Certainly, we're not the only people who have faced these conundrums, but I think they could have spread out some of the big names a bit more. Maybe this is inevitable with eight stages.

A few of the choices:
-Day 1: The Raconteurs vs. The Cool Kids vs. Bloc Party and Stephen Malkmus.
-Day 2: Broken Social Scene vs. Battles vs. Lupe Fiasco.
-Day 3: Today we face another tough one. Love and Rockets vs. Girl Talk vs. Flosstradamus vs. Gnarls Barkley. Cee-Lo and Dangermouse of Gnarls will win out in the end, but you won't help to wonder what was going on elsewhere. There is a chance we could catch the start of Flosstradamus' set.

Oh, and the granddaddy of all of the cruel choices also is tonight. Nine Inch Nails vs. Kanye West. NIN will also win out, but if the rumored Barack Obama appearance is true we may rue the day we chose Trent over Ye.

Lotta Lolla

2008-08-02T22:22:00.001-07:00

Tonight proved that Rage Against the Machine is still as relevant as ever. Its advocacy of unity, human rights and peace (well, mostly) may be more timely now than it was back in the 1990s. Rage ran through its catalog of anthems with the precision of a May Day march. It capped its set with the funk-metal "Wake Up" and a long soliliquy by vocalist Zack de la Rocha about "the last eight years." The encores were early 1990s classics "Freedom" and "Killing in the Name." The show was not without drama, though. De la Rocha cut off the indigenous rights diatribe "People of the Sun" when a crush of people pushed up against the stage rail. He asked that everyone move back, and after a short delay resumed the set. People mostly complied, but de la Rocha kept pleading with the crowd all night.

Other observations from Day 2:

-Lollapalooza is a study in sunglasses. In: Ray Bans. Out: Oakleys. In: Fluorescent frames. Out: Medical sunglasses.

-The weather today was perfect. Blue skies, low 80s.

-We stopped by Perry's stage early in the afternoon, as event founder Perry Farrell was scheduled to make a cameo with a special guest. There was a DJ playing some music when we got there. Eventually, we could see Farrell near the back of the stage dancing. He waved to the crowd and everyone cheered. Fifteen minutes later, he was still doing the same thing. We really didn't understand what he was doing--no band, no special guest, no performance. We got bored and left.

-We had the misfortune of seeing the worst act at Lollapalooza. We took a flyer on Spank Rock, a Baltimore group, and left within 20 minutes. What they did was really an insult to music and all of humanity, in fact. I'm not sure where to begin. The act involved two MC/dancers who were so horrible at being MCs and dancers that we had to leave. And I think Tim Gunn or Michael Kors would describe their outfits as "vulgar."

-I was last at Lollapalooza in 1995. It was a simpler time. No cellphones, no Blackberries, no iPhones, no digital cameras. The Internet was only just becoming popular.

-Chicago MC Lupe Fiasco thrilled the crowd with an eight-piece band. The trumpet, trombone and saxophone on the skateboard anthem "Kick, Push" sounded great.

Sound opinions

2008-08-01T22:08:00.000-07:00

"That's the worst headlining band I've ever seen," said one person early in Radiohead's set. He and a friend were storming away from the stage at the south end of Grant Park. Indeed, Radiohead is not typical stadium rock. It's amazing that 75,000 people showed up to watch them tonight as part of Lollapalooza. It's hard to believe this is the same band that recorded "Creep" so many years ago. Radiohead certainly delivered tonight, mostly playing hits of the past decade or so.

Other highlights today:

-Lollapalooza is a study in shirtlessness. The upper 80 degree temperatures had everyone scrambling to take their shirts off.

-Jack White of The Raconteurs is looking more and more like Glenn Danzig, former frontman of The Misfits and Danzig (pictured at right).

-Cadence Weapon left a memorable impression when DJ Weasel climbed onto the scaffolding above the stage, hung there for about 30 seconds and dropped the 6 feet or so back to the stage.

-Stephen Malkmus and The Jicks delivered their fuzzed-out post-punk sound. I saw Pavement (Malkmus' former band) at Lollapalooza in 1995, and all I remember was him hunched over a guitar with a big mop of hair. Hasn't changed much, 'cept I like it now.

-Big festivals are marathons, not a sprint. I haven't been to anything like this since approximately 1997. I learned that you can't assume you will get very close to the stage during any headlining act. It takes precision and planning to get close enough to really see one of the big names. We will take that into consideration tomorrow when Rage Against the Machine tears the roof off this sucka.

Bandanna fix

2008-07-30T19:27:00.000-07:00

A (somewhat) live look at Episode 3, Season 5 of "Project Runway."

8:02 -- The designers utter a half-hearted hello when Heidi greets them.

8:07 -- Jennifer and Leanne look exactly alike and have a vacant look in their eyes.

8:09 -- Keith utters the words "I'm not here to become their friends" when Stella and Kenley complain about him in Times Square. (See video below for more.)

8:13 -- An ad runs for the new season of "Top Design." See you later, decorator.

8:16 -- Keith, sans bandanna, doesn't look as much like Suicidal Tendencies frontman Mike Muir (pictured at right) today.

8:18 -- I'm rooting for Joe Faris of Detroit.

8:18 -- Leanne, creator of last week's satin mess, utters the words "I hope I'm not too creative again."

8:19 -- Keith's bandanna is back!

8:21 -- Kenley is to a flapper as Emily is to a 1940s pinup.

8:28 -- Blayne inadequately explains the phrase "Holla at cha boy" to Tim Gunn.

8:33 -- You heard it here: Daniel Feld will be formidable this season.

8:39 -- I admit it, I would laugh at most anything Michael Kors says. When he says "Hey guys" to the designers each week I smile a little bit and all is right with the world.

8:48 -- In a remarkable turnaround, Leanne's outfit garners quite a bit of praise this week.

8:49 -- Jennifer, Leanne's doppelganger, appears to be in trouble however.

8:50 -- Nina Garcia says "no comment" on her dress.

8:56 -- Kenley is victorious.

8:58 -- Inexplicably, Emily is eliminated and Jennifer goes on for another week.

Holding pattern

2008-07-28T20:36:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the patternless area, a companion blog to the driftless area. The patternless area will include views on topics beyond those covered in the driftless area. These might include television, team sports and everyday life. For those familiar with the pensieve of the Harry Potter books, the patternless area will be a tool for emptying my thoughts on a broad array of topics.