Lifting confusion

I'm going to get my ass kicked at the gym one of these days.

Loyal readers know that I previously worked out at a small Park District gym. In a final attempt to rehabilitate my knee, I got a membership to a "real" gym recently. I figured the ease of access, space and amenities would make going to the gym easier. I just couldn't bring myself to go to that cramped park gym any more with rickety treadmills that were mostly out of service.

The etiquette of the big gym is overwhelming at the moment. Strangely, the constricted space and simple machinery of the park gym made everything easier. It was clear who was doing what; the protocol went unsaid.

My first trip to the new gym I mistakenly stepped in to use a piece of equipment only to realize that someone else had been using it. The person using it was wearing a hood and weightlifting gloves. Rather than specifically note that I was cutting in line, he grunted something that drew my attention--only after I had replaced some weights. I immediately apologized but he signaled that I should continue.

I vowed to myself that I'd be more diligent in the etiquette department.

Workout machines these days are hard to figure out. I feel like Borat when he was in Miami Beach.

So I made another misstep on Monday.

I went up to a machine and looked around to make sure no one was using it. I've found that people at this gym have fiefdoms to themselves--at 5 p.m. Johnny goes to this one spot and works out EVERY DAY. Don't invade Johnny's space. So I looked around carefully and only saw one guy nearby, probably 10 feet away. I trusted that my piece of equipment was free and began to look for a 25-pound weight to add on. I grabbed what appeared to be an available weight and placed it on my machine. I noticed that the nearest guy was looking at me, and I looked up and briefly made eye contact. He looked away.

I sat on the bench and prepared to lift the weight and was interrupted by a small noise from a few feet away. The man was indicating to me some sort of displeasure. He gestured toward his machine. I had taken off one of the weights while he was in between sets and placed it on mine. The complicated machinery had confused me--what I thought was a stationery weight was actually the one he was using at the time. I apologized profusely and laughed about the confusion. He mostly ignored me.

I think what's most funny to me--other than that you should secure a 25-yard perimeter around every machine before lifting--is that both of these people were so damn passive-aggressive. They watched me remove their weights and never said anything until I made the gaffe. I don't get it.